I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
