$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
