i just google imaged poop.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
