I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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