Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
he puts the penis in happiness.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Randomize
