Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
apparently the secret to your success is patron
accomplished twins. life is a go
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
