Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
