bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
