we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
