Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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