I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize