Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
