You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
