So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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