Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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