I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
