I molested 6 butterflies tonight
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
