If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
