We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
