what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
My feet surprised me
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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