Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
