erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
