I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
operation have a gay friend backfired
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
