I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
