she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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