At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
