she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize