I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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