Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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