Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
