I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
