yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
