STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
