singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
