He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
