I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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