All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize