just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
