I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
