I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
he had hair everywhere except his balls
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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