you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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