i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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