no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
