i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
This baby is an asshole
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
