I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
