so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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