I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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