its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
