I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
