fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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