I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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