you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
