i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
