Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
We had sex on a dog bed..
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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