also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
