that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
