hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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