I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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