ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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