i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I wish my penis had an off switch
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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