: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
