Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Randomize