She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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