Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
