I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
She needs sedatives and a leash
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
