Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
