a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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